Nov 22, 2009

Lucy cooks Uncle Ben

Dear Uncle Ben
First let me say, it's not me it's YOU!
We've been friends for so many years, I thought I could always count on you.
the boxes change, the cooking times change...I stuck with you.
i'd look at your face on the box and think "ok, this box feels lighter, but Ben's a guy I can trust."
they say aquarians are loyal...loyal beyond commonsense maybe. but once an aquarius walks, we don't look back.
goodbye Uncle Ben.

Oh the reason?
boil-in-the-bag.
THE STUPIDEST WAY TO COOK ANYTHING.
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
the box was purchased by accident, because IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE REGULAR BROWN RICE BOX.

Ok, 4 little bags inside. drop one into 4 cups of boiling water. WHY WHY WHY?
OK maybe some people's water isn't potable, this would be good!
But NO...there are HOLES IN THE BAG. The rice absorbs the water.
Ok,well you don't have to use a measuring cup for the rice
BUT YOU DO HAVE TO MEASURE THE WATER!
It takes 15 minutes - AFTER the water boils! Why not just cook regular rice?
Do you sense me stomping around jumping up and down shaking my fists in the air at the stupidity of it all?
Now,FROZEN TOAST...you just pop into the toaster, is FUNNY. Boil-in-bag rice isn't even funny.
Uncle Ben, were you kidnapped and taken to MARS? Did they feed you M&Ms until you were brain dead, or just replace you with a cardboard cutout?
Shaking my head sadly. Can Opsrey create another blog for this?...posters searching for the lost, kidnapped or compromised -- our formerly trusted ummm trusted ummm fictional purveyors of comestibles?

5 comments:

  1. /me has a 10 lb zippered bag of basmati all labeled in a language unkown to her, and a rice cooker.

    I don't know anything about Uncle Ben. Isn't he a railway porter or something?

    Luceh - CUT THE CORD I KNOW YOU CAN DO EET!!!

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  2. Actually, MOST food is now grown (and packaged) on other planets.

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  3. Osprey, i had a rice cooker years ago but no kitchen counter, and no place to plug it in! i NEVER USED IT! it has vanished.

    5-Track - I know! I went to the MARS website...they make all kinds of stuff, M&M's and Dove chocolates yummm! it even says they are "Mars, Incorporated Committed to Using Sustainably Grown Cocoa" -- what do you think?

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  4. I think neither MICUSGC or MICTUSGC spells anything in any EARTHly language

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  5. Strange - Uncle Ben's Rice is best known in Germany for his bagged rice actually. And yes, it's quite stupid. It's not like cooking rice is rocket sience or anything. Even I can do it, if I try very hard.

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