My first miksaang experience, so far loving it, an online class taught by Miriam Hall. Now we are at the lesson on space. And then on to dot in space.
Like Alexandra Horowitz in her book On Looking, i walk around my block that i've walked so many times, but now with each lesson i walk with new vision, or with new aspects calling to me. Colors, light and shadow, texture and pattern, noticed for themselves, not as an attribute of something else.
Experiencing space and photographing it are two different things. The sky...easy! And so seldom boring. A field -- not so easy. It becomes a photo of a tree, or of tufts of grass, or a hill. The road, looking down it, is still a busy picture of things. But looking straight down at it...there is space! Is space in a photo just sameness?
We're talking about what you see in the picture. I looked down AT the road at my feet and did not exactly experience spaciousness, but did experience not-thing, not-object, not-pattern. It is surface, but not texturey nor patterny. It is a dusting of powder and sand ground down from mountains and boulders by the miles high ice of the glacier over thousands of years and piled by our rivers and lakes to be dug out and spread on this dirt road. There's space for you! But is there someone who can show that in a photo?
Still, the photo i take of the road is quite calm, easy on the eye, pleasant, even nice, a spacious experience.
Ok i will try some more today. I only took 75 pics on my walk around the block yesterday (one mile half on dirt road and half on 2 lane paved road.
Oh, and also, the idea in my mind of Dot in Space brought to my attention several astonishing things i had never noticed before on my block -- pictures that are not space nor dot in space really, but hmmm maybe in a way they are.
Showing posts with label buddhism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label buddhism. Show all posts
Apr 10, 2016
Mar 19, 2016
early morning with camera and without it
Not much gets me out of the house before breakfast, but this morning i wanted to try taking pix in the slanty morning light as part of the "light on objects, front, side, backlit" segment of the miksang class. I actually was dressed and out the door (ok no earrings) by 8, wearing a hat with a brim (the better to see the camera screen) and gloves with bare fingertips. I took about 2 pictures and within 5 minutes was back in the house putting on heavy wool gloves, scarf, wool toque covering my ears....it was bright and sunny, but all of 25 degrees F.
I did go for a long walk, noticing all the flashes of perception and inspiration i could have tried to photograph if i'd been willing to take my hands out of my pockets.
Back at home i sat on the enclosed porch (60 degrees!) with coffee and english muffin and just drank in the sunlit trees woods and fields. It actually hurt to be so aware of the colors and the light on objects and on its own, the shapes and textures. No wonder people fiddle with phones and cameras and everything else. It's painful to live in open awareness.
I did go for a long walk, noticing all the flashes of perception and inspiration i could have tried to photograph if i'd been willing to take my hands out of my pockets.
Back at home i sat on the enclosed porch (60 degrees!) with coffee and english muffin and just drank in the sunlit trees woods and fields. It actually hurt to be so aware of the colors and the light on objects and on its own, the shapes and textures. No wonder people fiddle with phones and cameras and everything else. It's painful to live in open awareness.
Apr 17, 2014
inside a dog
my brain when i am ignoring it, keeps busy and entertains itself in many ways.
often with a song.
often the song it hums to itself is an attempt to send a message.
sometimes i notice and it's fun to figure out the message.
the past few days it's been telling me a joke, whenever i bother to listen to the brain-chatter.
here's the joke:
"Outside of a dog a book is man’s best friend because inside of a dog it’s too dark to read."
usually attributed to Groucho.
like the brain-song messages, it turns out to be a koan for me. i'd been filling out my application for Sacred World Assembly and got stuck on the question about the Sakyong Mipham as my vajra master.
i will for sure then be inside the dog.
i've been inside the dog before, as a christian in my teens, and yes it was too dark to read. once inside the dog it's so natural to twist everything and make a religion out of it, heehee. to twist everything to glorify and justify that inside this dog is true and perfect.
so the question for me is how to be inside the dog and still be able to read. or is it to have the courage to be inside the dog and give up reading?
often with a song.
often the song it hums to itself is an attempt to send a message.
sometimes i notice and it's fun to figure out the message.
the past few days it's been telling me a joke, whenever i bother to listen to the brain-chatter.
here's the joke:
"Outside of a dog a book is man’s best friend because inside of a dog it’s too dark to read."
usually attributed to Groucho.
like the brain-song messages, it turns out to be a koan for me. i'd been filling out my application for Sacred World Assembly and got stuck on the question about the Sakyong Mipham as my vajra master.
i will for sure then be inside the dog.
i've been inside the dog before, as a christian in my teens, and yes it was too dark to read. once inside the dog it's so natural to twist everything and make a religion out of it, heehee. to twist everything to glorify and justify that inside this dog is true and perfect.
so the question for me is how to be inside the dog and still be able to read. or is it to have the courage to be inside the dog and give up reading?
Dec 3, 2013
my imaginary friends may be real and you maybe not
so i got another box from the attic.
stuff my mom saved from my childhood and then gave to me.
maybe i can get rid of it!
here's my baby book, something mothers worked hard at.
oh look, i had an imaginary friend, a rabbit.
i have no memory of such a thing.
apparently it had to have a place to sit at dinner.
my parents loved this stuff.
i'm thinking my next imaginary friend was Jesus,
i took to him at a very early age.
my parents were not so happy about that,
but they let me live in that rabbit hole until i outgrew it.
which i did, and then went without imaginary friends for years.
were those my years as a grown-up?
now that i'm a Buddhist i have many many imaginary friends!
if i become a Hindu i'll have multiple times that number.
my friend the Shaman has his power animal (i keep wanting to say 'familiar' but that's witches)
it sits by him at dinner (apparently on the floor) or so he mentioned at dinner recently.
is that his imaginary friend, or is it real?
in which case aren't they all real?
real as anything else?
stuff my mom saved from my childhood and then gave to me.
maybe i can get rid of it!
here's my baby book, something mothers worked hard at.
oh look, i had an imaginary friend, a rabbit.
i have no memory of such a thing.
apparently it had to have a place to sit at dinner.
my parents loved this stuff.
i'm thinking my next imaginary friend was Jesus,
i took to him at a very early age.
my parents were not so happy about that,
but they let me live in that rabbit hole until i outgrew it.
which i did, and then went without imaginary friends for years.
were those my years as a grown-up?
now that i'm a Buddhist i have many many imaginary friends!
if i become a Hindu i'll have multiple times that number.
my friend the Shaman has his power animal (i keep wanting to say 'familiar' but that's witches)
it sits by him at dinner (apparently on the floor) or so he mentioned at dinner recently.
is that his imaginary friend, or is it real?
in which case aren't they all real?
real as anything else?
Feb 3, 2013
stopped at the light
late for meditation. of course, the light turns red just as i reach it.
wait... wait... wait... wait... wait... wait
up the hill strung out along the sidewalk to my left some people come striding along in the cold, chatting happily.
without a pause they walk off the curb and cross the road in front of me,
of course, just as the light turns green.
to myself i mutter "may we reach enlightenment at the same time"
and at that one of them looks up.
she waves to me and mouths "thank you!"
and it makes all the difference.
wait... wait... wait... wait... wait... wait
up the hill strung out along the sidewalk to my left some people come striding along in the cold, chatting happily.
without a pause they walk off the curb and cross the road in front of me,
of course, just as the light turns green.
to myself i mutter "may we reach enlightenment at the same time"
and at that one of them looks up.
she waves to me and mouths "thank you!"
and it makes all the difference.
Sep 15, 2012
garden buddha & squirrel
the little kid who came
a few years ago to our door
pushing a lawn mower he barely topped,
and asked if we wanted to hire him to mow our lawn,
is now a big tall kid!
strong enough to pick up the picnic table
to move it out of the way of his new riding lawn mower
and mow several lawns in town and out,
and the library as well!
he's a good businessman, and now
that he's old enough to be driving (legally) (yes, we've recognized you)
he mentioned that he's twice failed to pass the test to get his license.
but since then,
he did pass it.
i'm not asking and he's not saying,
but i did notice someone left a 25 cent piece on our garden buddha.
a few years ago to our door
pushing a lawn mower he barely topped,
and asked if we wanted to hire him to mow our lawn,
is now a big tall kid!
strong enough to pick up the picnic table
to move it out of the way of his new riding lawn mower
and mow several lawns in town and out,
and the library as well!
he's a good businessman, and now
that he's old enough to be driving (legally) (yes, we've recognized you)
he mentioned that he's twice failed to pass the test to get his license.
but since then,
he did pass it.
i'm not asking and he's not saying,
but i did notice someone left a 25 cent piece on our garden buddha.
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| CLICK TO ENLARGE AND LOOK AT TOP OF LARGE ROCK FOR A SURPRISE! HEH HEH |
Aug 18, 2012
Thursday meditation
the meditation center is open several times a week. the same method of meditation is taught and practiced in the same room on the same cushions and yet each of the days is different.
thursday meditation is mid-day on a weekday, when traffic and construction work and the store downstairs are active. when the weather is good the windows and doors are open and the busy world outside flows in and out of the room with the breezes as we sit and hold our seat. none of that peace and quiet, non- distraction coddling for us -- we practice holding our seat and staying with our mind through it all, as all of us sneeze, open water bottles, take off sweater, scratch.
someone is timekeeper on thursdays, but no gatekeeper. perhaps that's why it is thursday that throws me the otherworldly challenges! one week it was dragons fighting outside the center. the noise was deafening. we sat through the metallic screeching and tearing, the alarming beeping, the building-shaking crashing. it went on for the entire hour. (our center is next to a train yard.) i knew it was a test and i brought the dragons and their fearful battle into my consciousness instead of letting them pull my mind out to them. i was not afraid or angry.
another time, as i left the room, i was attacked by a demon! she flew at me with beak and talons emitting dreadful cries! i tried to remember how to deal with this...i did remain outwardly calm, mostly friendly, but i admit i tried to get away and make her stop. not bad for a first encounter, but in retrospect i should not have tried to get away, but maybe worked my way along to the tea area as she followed screeching, and made tea for both of us? i remember one story of a sage who allowed the demon to eat him up, but i'm not sure how to do that.
i don't have these encounters with the other world evenings, or on sunday mornings when there is a gatekeeper and often even a kasung, and there are protector chants at the beginning and end. but i am curious to face these thursday challenges.
thursday meditation is mid-day on a weekday, when traffic and construction work and the store downstairs are active. when the weather is good the windows and doors are open and the busy world outside flows in and out of the room with the breezes as we sit and hold our seat. none of that peace and quiet, non- distraction coddling for us -- we practice holding our seat and staying with our mind through it all, as all of us sneeze, open water bottles, take off sweater, scratch.
someone is timekeeper on thursdays, but no gatekeeper. perhaps that's why it is thursday that throws me the otherworldly challenges! one week it was dragons fighting outside the center. the noise was deafening. we sat through the metallic screeching and tearing, the alarming beeping, the building-shaking crashing. it went on for the entire hour. (our center is next to a train yard.) i knew it was a test and i brought the dragons and their fearful battle into my consciousness instead of letting them pull my mind out to them. i was not afraid or angry.
another time, as i left the room, i was attacked by a demon! she flew at me with beak and talons emitting dreadful cries! i tried to remember how to deal with this...i did remain outwardly calm, mostly friendly, but i admit i tried to get away and make her stop. not bad for a first encounter, but in retrospect i should not have tried to get away, but maybe worked my way along to the tea area as she followed screeching, and made tea for both of us? i remember one story of a sage who allowed the demon to eat him up, but i'm not sure how to do that.
i don't have these encounters with the other world evenings, or on sunday mornings when there is a gatekeeper and often even a kasung, and there are protector chants at the beginning and end. but i am curious to face these thursday challenges.
Jul 6, 2012
tripping on no-mesh
Osprey, who has never been cookie-cutter, is becoming less and less human to me, and wearing clementine's herring boxes for sandals.
the fabulous SL9B lotus stage was, to me made of legos *smile smile* and some of my fellow meditators look like pieces of cheese.
May 9, 2012
Jul 15, 2011
birth and death
at noon, six of us showed up for meditation practice.
afterwards, we began our discussion with a chapter from Chogyam Trungpa's book, Smile at Fear and wound our way round fear to the subject of death.
a fine traditional Buddhist topic for a beautiful summer afternoon.
awareness of one's fear of death, and appreciation of the impermanence of life, can have a beautiful effect on how you live.
the six of us, all women today, all know we are going to die, have been dying since we were born.
the six of us, all women today, all know we are going to die, have been dying since we were born.
as Buddhists, we are accustomed if not comfortable with that understanding, although knowing it and KNOWING it are not really the same.
only one of us has an actual doctor's assurance that she is dying... and barring some strange accident, she knows what she will die of...in the near future.
only one of us has an actual doctor's assurance that she is dying... and barring some strange accident, she knows what she will die of...in the near future.
she described for us what that is like, and how you can't comprehend that you are going to die in quite that mind-stopping way until a doctor tells you that this is it.
she described some of what she has wrestled with; she said often people say they'd like to die in their sleep, but she wants to be there for her death -- she said "i missed my birth, but i want to be present for my death!"
another of the group said that giving birth, which 3 of us have done, seems similar to dying.
another of the group said that giving birth, which 3 of us have done, seems similar to dying.
for one thing, she said, we couldn't possibly convey a full understanding of what it is like to give birth.
those of us who've borne children agreed, it is an experience beyond transmission. the non-moms looked like maybe they thought they knew quite well what childbirth is like.
the moms smiled to themselves remembering how manners, poses, learned behaviors, modesty, ego, fall away and become irrelevant when you are aware and giving birth... and so also, can we assume?... when one is aware and meeting death.
.
Jan 26, 2011
auspicious coincidence or loss of entropy?
but border's in mid-january had none.
so i have a metropolitan museum of art
page-a-day calendar.
i love it!
on my birthday i was amazed
to turn the page and reveal
a tibetan buddhist painting
tanka style
of Onpo Lama Rinpoche (1251 - 1296)
in his indian incarnation as
Jnanatapa
surrounded by
the progenitors and abbots
of Taklung Monastery.
how did they know?
Dec 16, 2010
ok i made this up
christmas was coming soon.
a woman came to the buddha and asked him to bless her plumbing so it didn't break down when she had house guests, especially in-laws.
he told her to bring him a toilet brush from a family who had never had this happen.
she emailed all her friends and finally even put a notice in the newspaper.
but no such family could be found!
so when it happens,
since you are already miserable,
you might as well breathe in the misery of everyone else in the world it is happening to!
then breathe out a sense of humor and a jolly plumber to all of them!
but no such family could be found!
so when it happens,
since you are already miserable,
you might as well breathe in the misery of everyone else in the world it is happening to!
Sep 18, 2010
i go to the woods
and stayed alone in susan clarke's wonderful cabin to meditate.
it was so amazing.
here are some pictures i took.
the music is used by permission of kourosh dini http://lifeinmusic.org/sky-lily/best viewed full screen
Aug 9, 2010
Dilgo Khyentse 100 years - the return!
washing the saki and wine from my hair - i wonder if it attracts yellow-jackets? - i'm thinking of how much fun i have as a buddhist.
as a young lutheran i was allowed to take communion after 2 years of memorizing luther's small catechism.
i never imagined there was a religion that could transmit sacred empowerments to me by tossing flower petals in the air and reading to me (and 300 others) in tibetan for hours and hours, followed by a joyful celebration.
unlike 'holy communion' these revered holy men and women came right into the crowd, all of them in a line, each bestowing a different blessing/transmission, the touch of a transmission object to the head, or cinnamon candy in the hand, powder to make a mark on the forehead, and both wine and saki, just a bit poured into my outstretched hand, and then slurped and my hand rubbed across the top of my hair.
i wonder what the folks who have that "common cup" vs "individual cup" argument (you know who you are) would say to the "just use your hand" idea?
(click to enlarge photos)
more information
Aug 4, 2010
the return
his first trip to the USA in this lifetime
an amazing event right here in Vermont, and i'll be there this weekend!
The Return
an amazing event right here in Vermont, and i'll be there this weekend!
The Return
Jul 28, 2010
this explains everything -- really!
an earwig whose life
led it into my kitchen
and onto my counter
lay dead in some honey
left in a small glass
overnight on the counter
from soothing my throat
that was sore from my coughing
to dislodge the cheerio
drunk from my tea.
the cheerio was on
the spoonful of milk
from my cereal i add
to my tea every morning
but this time a cheerio
got in and choked me
and made my throat sore
and the honey that soothed it
has killed this small earwig
and there you have karma
in case you had wondered
.
led it into my kitchen
and onto my counter
lay dead in some honey
left in a small glass
overnight on the counter
from soothing my throat
that was sore from my coughing
to dislodge the cheerio
drunk from my tea.
the cheerio was on
the spoonful of milk
from my cereal i add
to my tea every morning
but this time a cheerio
got in and choked me
and made my throat sore
and the honey that soothed it
has killed this small earwig
and there you have karma
in case you had wondered
.
Mar 6, 2010
the Sakyong's what about me?
it is not new, this video by the Sakyong Mipham, but i still go back to watch it again and again. i had not put it on my blog before because there is too much to say about the Sakyong! so i will just put this here and say nothing, but go to this link if you are curious about him.
WHAT ABOUT ME? click the 4 arrow thing to enlarge
Jan 23, 2010
surviving virtual horror
when i was at the imax watching-- experiencing Avatar-- and the battle part heated up, it was so loud i could feel my bones vibrating.
the little girl next to me put her hands over her ears and stared at me instead of the screen.
what the fuck was a 3 year old girl doing there!
it was so horrible and violent, i put my earmuffs on, plugged up my ears, took off the 3D glasses, and closed my eyes.
i could still hear it and feel it.
the realization came to me that this could be like the bardo, after you die, total terror, confusion and chaos. unable to think or comprehend, that's where you choose, amidst the howling mindless chaos, out of your reflexive habit of thought and desire, the situation that determines your next life.
wow. serious shit.
so for practice,in the theatre, amid the mind-numbing howling chaos,i chanted to myself may all beings enjoy happiness and the root of happiness. may they be free from suffering and the root of suffering. may they never be separated from the great happiness devoid of suffering. may they dwell in equanimity free from passion agression and prejudice.
an amazing thing happened. it worked! my mind cleared of confusion. i found i was wishing happiness even to the arch villain! i understood that all the bad peope in the movie were really trying to be happy!
it was like i stepped up a few rungs and looked down on it all and saw there was no right and wrong. it was all wrong and sad and unecessary.
the little girl next to me put her hands over her ears and stared at me instead of the screen.
what the fuck was a 3 year old girl doing there!
it was so horrible and violent, i put my earmuffs on, plugged up my ears, took off the 3D glasses, and closed my eyes.
i could still hear it and feel it.
the realization came to me that this could be like the bardo, after you die, total terror, confusion and chaos. unable to think or comprehend, that's where you choose, amidst the howling mindless chaos, out of your reflexive habit of thought and desire, the situation that determines your next life.
wow. serious shit.
so for practice,in the theatre, amid the mind-numbing howling chaos,i chanted to myself may all beings enjoy happiness and the root of happiness. may they be free from suffering and the root of suffering. may they never be separated from the great happiness devoid of suffering. may they dwell in equanimity free from passion agression and prejudice.
an amazing thing happened. it worked! my mind cleared of confusion. i found i was wishing happiness even to the arch villain! i understood that all the bad peope in the movie were really trying to be happy!
it was like i stepped up a few rungs and looked down on it all and saw there was no right and wrong. it was all wrong and sad and unecessary.
Jan 2, 2010
tripping on no-trip
my friend Jeffrey wrote this great poem after experiencing Warrior Assembly. perhaps it is only meaningful to those of us who have gone through this 2 weeks of Shambhala Buddhist training. but i really like it and hope it resonates in some way with anyone who happens upon it.
True Harlequin Romance
by Jeffrey Slayton
The trip of no-trip is the biggest trip of all
No-trip is the case but not for you
Not for anybody
Here we are on a trip
We long for the release of no-trip
But that’s just another trip
We can’t avoid our sad and tender heart
It is so sad, so beautiful
We are so, so sensitive
From the grossest barbarian
To the subtlest yogi
We turn away
But in this place
On this particular trip
We cannot escape the razorblade-thin path of warriorship
Moment by moment
The shocking glare of the Great Eastern Sun doesn’t stop
Being scared shitless and enjoying the bliss of luminosity is our heritage
Thank Heaven for providing no-trip
But do not disparage the trip that Earth demands
This gives birth to the Sakyong Warrior
Dec 27, 2009
what did you do for christmas?
A second life story:
last year after christmas i was walking around in some of the winter builds...they are gorgeous, cities, forests, mountains, all snowly with ice skating places and warm fires and sparkly ice. I thot it would be fun to have x country skis, so I went to a ski resort -- Austria -- to find some, and had this conversation:
Stranger: are you here for the discussion?
me: who me? I am just looking around. what is the discussion?
S: On what did you do for christmas and new years.
me: (thinking this is the lamest discussion topic i have EVER heard of in Second Life, and feeling a little sorry for her) Well, i have to leave soon, but how was your christmas?
(i sit down on the bench with her)
(i sit down on the bench with her)
S: Oh it was fun! We had carolling and everything. Where are you from?
Me: vermont
(this led to a discussion of where that was, how much snow we had, the temperature, etc.)
Me: where are you?
S: India
we explored christmas customs in India and in the US for a bit. I said when i went carolling people were watching TV and dint even know we were there. She said "We make them come to the door, and we give presents to the children and tell them stories of Jesus."
(I sensed from pauses in her typing that she might be translating)
S: And everyone makes a big crib for their house.
after some confusion i realize this means what we call a creche or manger scene. I told her we did not put them in parks or schools because not everyone was christian.
me: and actually I am buddhist.
S: I am Hindu, but i love jesus.
me: i love jesus too!
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