Gift Giving - the New Health Craze?

The final word on gifts may be this New York Times article on giving. We know gifts may be a mixed or a mis-communication to the receiver, but for the GIVER -- it turns out it's GOOD FOR YOU!

GIVE EARLY AND OFTEN.

~_^

the perfect gift?

once upon a time, before EVERYTHING was made in China, back when Amazon meant a one-breasted woman warrior, i gave a friend a gift of a wind-up painted metal duck with a propeller on his head, riding on a tricycle. just for the absurdity of the thing!
it came in a funky chinese box. this may have been common on the west coast, but around here it was totally insane.
we loved our duck-on-a-bikes and we actually played with them sometimes! such an object was not to be had in the city she lived in. so each time i visited i'd bring her one and it became her ritual gift.
new house? duck-on-bike.
birthday? duck-on-bike.
retirement party? duck-on-bike.
xmas yankee swap? duck-on-bike.
once she called me in desperation. "LUCY i need a duck for this weekend!" luckily someone i knew was traveling to that city, and left a brown paper wrapped package at their hotel desk FOR VICKI.  an emergency duck-on-bike! by now everyone she knows has one. but if she meets some new people i may get the call again. 

the store that sold them no longer sells them, but i've seen them in the store across the street.

more more on gifts!

a friend and i have exchanged many gifts over the years.
a few years ago she said "how about if we give each other back gifts we didn't really like?"
she said "the person who got it for the other, REALLY liked it, thought it was special, and would probably appreciate it!"
hmmmm

this seemed quite sensible at the time.
i was fascinated by my reaction when she returned one of my gifts!
i thought "this? she didn't like THIS? this is so wonderful!" and i felt a little hurt.
then i thought "i REALLY like this! i'm glad she gave it back to me instead of giving it to the thrift shop."
and i treasure it still.

read my mind!

give me a gift of

just what i always wanted

but never told you.

                                      ~mudpie

continuing thoughts on gifts

gifts are personal, and/or gifts are ritual.
there used to be rules for when to give, what to give, how much to spend, based on the kind and degree of relationship.
i think that's gone, for most of us modern folks.

now gifts are personal. what does this say about me, what does this say about you.

the two get mixed up.
i know how to make soap.
so i make you some special soap to give you on a ritual occasion.
i am giving you my time and my talent.
you take it as a personal gift, not a ritual gift.
you think maybe i think you don't wash enough.
you think i didn't care enough to buy you something.
i think you will think i am cool because i can make soap.

one teensy aspect of the huge subject of gifts

fruitcake is off the gift list this year in my family!
my mom always sent a fruitcake, a really good one from some place in texas, to each of us kids. last year we sadly sent them to each other. this year we decided not to.
VOLUMES are written about gifts and gift giving! how can i even get a handle on the subject in a simple blog entry.
he gets her a roomba for xmas.
his thoughts...
he is clever and generous.
she will be happy not to have to vacuum.
it will be fun to set up and to watch it, see how the cat reacts!
he has solved a problem!
her thoughts...
he is stingy and overly practical.
he thinks of her as a housekeeper.
he just wants to play with this toy himself.
he isn't very romantic.
what the gift means to the giver can be completely different from the meaning understood by the receiver!  the gift is a coded message and each side has a different decoder ring.
and of course...
everyone has way too much stuff anyway!