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| Roxanna Eden |
Jul 22, 2015
Mar 4, 2015
Feb 17, 2015
Mike's coming home soon
One morning he woke up as a giant palmetto bug. This is not what he had been right along.
His wife woke up and was on the wrong train, traveling a route completely different from her planned trip.
Their daughter's husband turned back into a scorpion and was banished from the house.
Like Harry Potter, their grandson was protected by the love surrounding him, and remained the angel he had always been.
What evil forces had been angered or awakened?
Jan 25, 2015
birthday musings, is the best yet to come?
it's my birthday! started out windy dark snowing hard. now the sun is out. i wonder what it was like the day i was born? i think mom told me but i've forgotten.
in the book Americanah, which i read recently and liked very much, there's a sentence about how Lagos doesn't revere old buildings as other countries (USA, GB) do, but just tears them down to build something new, and that is because Britain, USA, etc see there best as in the past, whereas Lagos sees their best as yet to come.
in terms of my birthday, something to think about. how much am i revering the past, how much letting it go as i look forward to the future?
in the book Americanah, which i read recently and liked very much, there's a sentence about how Lagos doesn't revere old buildings as other countries (USA, GB) do, but just tears them down to build something new, and that is because Britain, USA, etc see there best as in the past, whereas Lagos sees their best as yet to come.
in terms of my birthday, something to think about. how much am i revering the past, how much letting it go as i look forward to the future?
Mike in November
nov 27 2014
doing tonglen for mike this morning. brought up some questions about what we want from a friend, and will we still be their friend when that is gone? then thinking of Mike as a teacher, what do we want from a teacher ? made me think of chogyam trungpa taking off his robes...wearing a suit...he was then rejected as a teacher by both students and friends. How did some of his followers and friends make the switch? and when he lost use of one side of his body, how did some people continue to be his friend and student?
i thought of Mike, and what I just read about the perfect situation for a writer and scholar being prison.
and i thought about 5 telling me how z got a new massage client who remarked it was the first time she'd had a quiet (non-talking) massage....and she keeps coming back.
mike is still our teacher if we can learn.
doing tonglen for mike this morning. brought up some questions about what we want from a friend, and will we still be their friend when that is gone? then thinking of Mike as a teacher, what do we want from a teacher ? made me think of chogyam trungpa taking off his robes...wearing a suit...he was then rejected as a teacher by both students and friends. How did some of his followers and friends make the switch? and when he lost use of one side of his body, how did some people continue to be his friend and student?
i thought of Mike, and what I just read about the perfect situation for a writer and scholar being prison.
and i thought about 5 telling me how z got a new massage client who remarked it was the first time she'd had a quiet (non-talking) massage....and she keeps coming back.
mike is still our teacher if we can learn.
Jan 19, 2015
reading Writing a Woman's Life
nov 11 2014 (i keep finding these posts i never posted)
i've been re-reading and old book i saved to see if i want to continue to give it shelf space. lots of Writing a Woman's Life goes
right over my head now that i am so long away from scholarly thinking and
writing. the book is amazingly interesting; not as out of date as i'd
hoped...the put-down term Chick Lit comes to mind...
i did come upon a phrase that reminded me of a recent discussion about a woman who had been asked to leave the opera in France because she was wearing a veil over her face. The discussion had to do with whether France is saving women from religious oppression of womankind, or is it denying them religious freedom. The sentence in Writing a Woman's Life is p.41/42 :
i did come upon a phrase that reminded me of a recent discussion about a woman who had been asked to leave the opera in France because she was wearing a veil over her face. The discussion had to do with whether France is saving women from religious oppression of womankind, or is it denying them religious freedom. The sentence in Writing a Woman's Life is p.41/42 :
To put it differently, as Elaine Marks does, American feminist critics see women as oppressed by sexism, "their voices unheard within the dominant culture," whereas for French critics, women are repressed, equivalent to the unconscious, and therefore not representable in language.
think about this difference...and if in the case of
repressed, how to determine what is repression and what is personal
preference!
later: almost finished Writing A Woman's Life. it is like reading history, and making more sense of it all. it's like "Oh so that's what
happened,"
one of the women in my book group is waiting to read it. she loved the mystery we are reading for the group, "Death in a Tenured Position" and wants to know more about Carolyn Heilman and her writing.
she mentioned she is in another book group in town, of younger women (probably in their 40s and 50s as compared to ours -- we are in our late 60s and 70s) and they are reading Gone Girl. i said i'd started it but didnt get very far and did not like it nor want to read any more of it. she was amazed and said same thing happened to her.
her theory is that it is an age thing.
in which case it is a good example of something Heilman mentions, that we take things to be personal often not realizing they are political or historical (sociological?)
one of the women in my book group is waiting to read it. she loved the mystery we are reading for the group, "Death in a Tenured Position" and wants to know more about Carolyn Heilman and her writing.
she mentioned she is in another book group in town, of younger women (probably in their 40s and 50s as compared to ours -- we are in our late 60s and 70s) and they are reading Gone Girl. i said i'd started it but didnt get very far and did not like it nor want to read any more of it. she was amazed and said same thing happened to her.
her theory is that it is an age thing.
in which case it is a good example of something Heilman mentions, that we take things to be personal often not realizing they are political or historical (sociological?)
Jan 11, 2015
xmas
i love this quote... it got me through xmas this year. so often Garrison Keillor is not at all what people think he is... he is totally not from Mayberry. but we do all go through it together even if we are going through it by ignoring it or rejecting it.
"A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together."
"A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together."
Jan 9, 2015
farewell to second life (for now? forever?)
little by little Second Life and First Life conspired to bring me out of the virtual world. complications with SL's software quirks brought down TSMGO, The Show Must Go On, and i couldn't find anything as fun. i quit working, so my scheduled changed. the people i knew and loved dropped out of SL as their lives changed. Osprey died. yet i kept my land for lucy and mudpie, kept premium membership, my homes. the software changed again and changed again and mesh came in and who knows what now. i finally this year dropped my premium status gave up my land and homes, and at my new house in First Life , out in the wilds, the internet is sooooo slow it is hardly worth peeking in now and then. so i'm cutting the cord.
when i log in for some reason now, i am like Rip van Winkle. everyone is a stranger, nobody from before is around. i am wearing out of date clothing, out of date body in fact! i've come from the past.
when i log in for some reason now, i am like Rip van Winkle. everyone is a stranger, nobody from before is around. i am wearing out of date clothing, out of date body in fact! i've come from the past.
Remembrance of summer in the old house
i must have written this draft at our old house, when i still had a job, and it was summer!!
i think of my father when i adjust the bamboo shades on the porch. because the strings go around little cleats! i love tying the string around the cleats and love knowing how to do it. it makes me think of my father and sailing and the cleats someone invented that you didn't have to make the knot around (boo!)
i like pulleys too, and the shades have pulleys. it's a chore adjusting all the windows and shades before i go to work. and then everything is open in the evening to let the cool in.
Vermont people who laugh in the face of 30 below 0 Farenheit get crazy when it is 90! they never heard of drinks with ice in them, cold washcloth on the neck, wearing shorts and sandals (not black) and a hat, sitting in the shade, or god forbid, keeping the windows and curtains closed!
they want to let a little air in! BUY AN AIR-CONDITIONER they scream!!
i can't imagine why my friend thought 85 degree weather was a good day to bake a pie, and then complained because her house was so hot, and would not believe that her rayon dress was not the coolest clothing she owns!
mostly they wait it out. my neighbor used to take a cooler and pillow out back and sleep on his trampoline!
best place to sit out the afternoon heat is on a rock in the middle of the frigid stream.
when it's gone on being hot for more than a week, i have run out of summer recipes, and cool clothes to wear to work!
but i love it....all too soon we will have good sledding weather back!
i think of my father when i adjust the bamboo shades on the porch. because the strings go around little cleats! i love tying the string around the cleats and love knowing how to do it. it makes me think of my father and sailing and the cleats someone invented that you didn't have to make the knot around (boo!)
i like pulleys too, and the shades have pulleys. it's a chore adjusting all the windows and shades before i go to work. and then everything is open in the evening to let the cool in.
Vermont people who laugh in the face of 30 below 0 Farenheit get crazy when it is 90! they never heard of drinks with ice in them, cold washcloth on the neck, wearing shorts and sandals (not black) and a hat, sitting in the shade, or god forbid, keeping the windows and curtains closed!
they want to let a little air in! BUY AN AIR-CONDITIONER they scream!!
i can't imagine why my friend thought 85 degree weather was a good day to bake a pie, and then complained because her house was so hot, and would not believe that her rayon dress was not the coolest clothing she owns!
mostly they wait it out. my neighbor used to take a cooler and pillow out back and sleep on his trampoline!
best place to sit out the afternoon heat is on a rock in the middle of the frigid stream.
when it's gone on being hot for more than a week, i have run out of summer recipes, and cool clothes to wear to work!
but i love it....all too soon we will have good sledding weather back!
Nov 11, 2014
A whale's memoir
i found some drafts of posts i never posted. this one for some reason i was thinking that if a whale wrote a memoir it wouldn't be all that different from mine, even though at first i thought whales didn't do much but swim around and eat, but then that's what we do isn't it then?
A whales memoir would be the same as ours. Where i was born, my early years, friends, parents, aunts, innocence and feeling safe until one day everything changed. As an adult, new friends, finding a mate, starting a family or not, why i decided to try for a leadership role in the pod, or decided not to, and how that went. The joy of my body, of movement, of the group, the beauty of the world, how i loved to sing. Great meals i had, interesting places we visited, strange sights we saw. Terrible danger i was in and how i survived, battles of various kinds and what i learned from them and how i was hurt. Would there be regrets and longings? Sorrow at loss of mother, friends, siblings? Fear of death?
A whales memoir would be the same as ours. Where i was born, my early years, friends, parents, aunts, innocence and feeling safe until one day everything changed. As an adult, new friends, finding a mate, starting a family or not, why i decided to try for a leadership role in the pod, or decided not to, and how that went. The joy of my body, of movement, of the group, the beauty of the world, how i loved to sing. Great meals i had, interesting places we visited, strange sights we saw. Terrible danger i was in and how i survived, battles of various kinds and what i learned from them and how i was hurt. Would there be regrets and longings? Sorrow at loss of mother, friends, siblings? Fear of death?
Sep 9, 2014
LETTING GO OF HOLDING ON
many many years ago i spent happy hours in Second Life and started this blog as my Second Life blog. gradually SL changed and people more and more used their SL as an extension of their first life, instead of a way to play with personalities, bodies, worlds totally different. my blog too became a blog of my first life, mostly because my FL became more interesting and i spent less time in SL. the last couple of years i've spent almost no time in SL, but kept my land, my houseboat, my stuff, because i loved it. but yesterday i finally did it. in the interest of not spending money on something i don't even use, i gave up my houseboat, abandoned my land, and reduced my avatars down from premium to freebie accounts.
this was soooo sad! especially taking all my stuff out of my cozy houseboat... my plants, my bed, my tea set, my woodstove.
but now i feel liberated! i can go into SL and wander homelessly as i did when i was a noob, sleeping in parks, changing clothes in libraries, wandering into people's weddings. i don't even know if there are still libraries in SL.
now that i pay nothing for SL, we'll see if i use it more!
this was soooo sad! especially taking all my stuff out of my cozy houseboat... my plants, my bed, my tea set, my woodstove.
but now i feel liberated! i can go into SL and wander homelessly as i did when i was a noob, sleeping in parks, changing clothes in libraries, wandering into people's weddings. i don't even know if there are still libraries in SL.
now that i pay nothing for SL, we'll see if i use it more!
Aug 1, 2014
Mom and Dad Clocks Ticking Along at New House
I have two clocks that tick, one treasured by my mother, one made by my father.
My mother bought hers in an antiques shop near Annapolis when my brother was a baby. It was moved at least three times in Maryland, then to Florida and three more moves there, then mailed to me in Vermont, where I have moved it once now. I had it in for repairs before the move, it had stopped, but it was nothing serious. Some of the wood decoration needed regluing, too. Now it works perfectly, except for two tiny missing wood bits, and one mysterious left over wood bit, oh and I haven't been able to calibrate the time, so it keeps relative time, But it ticks beautifuly and tocks too as the pendulum swings, and it bongs with a very lovely tone. Clocks like this are musical instruments, as much as is a violin's casing or a guitar's wood box.
The other clock Dad made from a computer circuit board, which he thought was beautiful, which indeed it is, altho possibly toxic. He got a clock mechanism, a brushed aluminum display box frame, and made nice looking clocks for all us kids plus some for the church bazaar. Mine has survived a number of moves, too, and then hung for years on my wall as art after it stopped working. At this new house, I stuck in a battery just for the heck of it, and lo and behold, it started right up. It ticks to count the seconds as electric clocks do. Keeps good time, too!
My mother bought hers in an antiques shop near Annapolis when my brother was a baby. It was moved at least three times in Maryland, then to Florida and three more moves there, then mailed to me in Vermont, where I have moved it once now. I had it in for repairs before the move, it had stopped, but it was nothing serious. Some of the wood decoration needed regluing, too. Now it works perfectly, except for two tiny missing wood bits, and one mysterious left over wood bit, oh and I haven't been able to calibrate the time, so it keeps relative time, But it ticks beautifuly and tocks too as the pendulum swings, and it bongs with a very lovely tone. Clocks like this are musical instruments, as much as is a violin's casing or a guitar's wood box.
The other clock Dad made from a computer circuit board, which he thought was beautiful, which indeed it is, altho possibly toxic. He got a clock mechanism, a brushed aluminum display box frame, and made nice looking clocks for all us kids plus some for the church bazaar. Mine has survived a number of moves, too, and then hung for years on my wall as art after it stopped working. At this new house, I stuck in a battery just for the heck of it, and lo and behold, it started right up. It ticks to count the seconds as electric clocks do. Keeps good time, too!
Jun 12, 2014
Apr 20, 2014
Amazing Gadget!
use it to hold harmonica around my neck while i play guitar and sing.
use it to hold up a book or manuscript while i type.
and -- used to hold ipad while i read ebook or do facetime!
use it to hold up a book or manuscript while i type.
and -- used to hold ipad while i read ebook or do facetime!
Apr 19, 2014
it's a description, no it's a brand!
people love the tiny pictures i take with my instax mini camera . when they see the tiny picture coming out of the camera, they say "oh it's a polaroid!"
and i say "no it's a fuji" and they look confused.
so after a year or more it dawned on me, they don't know polaroid as a brand, they know it as a process. so it's kind of like if they said "hand me a kleenex please" and i said "sorry i only have Puffs"
and i say "no it's a fuji" and they look confused.
so after a year or more it dawned on me, they don't know polaroid as a brand, they know it as a process. so it's kind of like if they said "hand me a kleenex please" and i said "sorry i only have Puffs"
Apr 18, 2014
wigs and perception
i went to see a friend who is in the midst of a series of chemo treatments.
she had a cute new wig.
it was grey like her hair, or almost like her hair.
just for fun i tried it on, and to our surprise it matched my hair perfectly.
she said she'd give it to me when she's done with it.
i came home and told john about it, told him it was the same exact color grey as my hair.
he said with surprise "your hair isn't grey"
curious, i said "what color do you think my hair is?"
he said "it's blonde, of course!"
hahahahahahaha
i wonder if when he looks at me i'm also 25 and don't have wrinkles!
she had a cute new wig.
it was grey like her hair, or almost like her hair.
just for fun i tried it on, and to our surprise it matched my hair perfectly.
she said she'd give it to me when she's done with it.
i came home and told john about it, told him it was the same exact color grey as my hair.
he said with surprise "your hair isn't grey"
curious, i said "what color do you think my hair is?"
he said "it's blonde, of course!"
hahahahahahaha
i wonder if when he looks at me i'm also 25 and don't have wrinkles!
Apr 17, 2014
inside a dog
my brain when i am ignoring it, keeps busy and entertains itself in many ways.
often with a song.
often the song it hums to itself is an attempt to send a message.
sometimes i notice and it's fun to figure out the message.
the past few days it's been telling me a joke, whenever i bother to listen to the brain-chatter.
here's the joke:
"Outside of a dog a book is man’s best friend because inside of a dog it’s too dark to read."
usually attributed to Groucho.
like the brain-song messages, it turns out to be a koan for me. i'd been filling out my application for Sacred World Assembly and got stuck on the question about the Sakyong Mipham as my vajra master.
i will for sure then be inside the dog.
i've been inside the dog before, as a christian in my teens, and yes it was too dark to read. once inside the dog it's so natural to twist everything and make a religion out of it, heehee. to twist everything to glorify and justify that inside this dog is true and perfect.
so the question for me is how to be inside the dog and still be able to read. or is it to have the courage to be inside the dog and give up reading?
often with a song.
often the song it hums to itself is an attempt to send a message.
sometimes i notice and it's fun to figure out the message.
the past few days it's been telling me a joke, whenever i bother to listen to the brain-chatter.
here's the joke:
"Outside of a dog a book is man’s best friend because inside of a dog it’s too dark to read."
usually attributed to Groucho.
like the brain-song messages, it turns out to be a koan for me. i'd been filling out my application for Sacred World Assembly and got stuck on the question about the Sakyong Mipham as my vajra master.
i will for sure then be inside the dog.
i've been inside the dog before, as a christian in my teens, and yes it was too dark to read. once inside the dog it's so natural to twist everything and make a religion out of it, heehee. to twist everything to glorify and justify that inside this dog is true and perfect.
so the question for me is how to be inside the dog and still be able to read. or is it to have the courage to be inside the dog and give up reading?
Apr 2, 2014
washing dishes by hand
when i was a child and we moved to a house with a dishwasher, it seemed like a luxury.
i don't have one, now, and neither do, wow, quite a few of my friends if i think about it.
most of them say they enjoy washing dishes by hand.
so now that is the luxury, isn't it?
having the time to wash your dishes by hand while your mind roams free for awhile and your hands play in warm soapy water.
it's twice as nice when someone joins you and dries.
i don't have one, now, and neither do, wow, quite a few of my friends if i think about it.
most of them say they enjoy washing dishes by hand.
so now that is the luxury, isn't it?
having the time to wash your dishes by hand while your mind roams free for awhile and your hands play in warm soapy water.
it's twice as nice when someone joins you and dries.
Dec 21, 2013
YOU AREN'T LISTENING??
well i finally understand uptalking.
yes i thought it was weird and irritating but suddenly i saw the light.
it's a contraction. we've been doing it right along.
now we just cut to the question mark instead of adding these words at the end of our sentences.
it could be because more and more we suspect you aren't listening, don-cha-know?
so listen to me, will you?
n'est pas?
nome sain?
eh?
y'know?
understand?
non?
ya?
and that's all it is. get it?
yes i thought it was weird and irritating but suddenly i saw the light.
it's a contraction. we've been doing it right along.
now we just cut to the question mark instead of adding these words at the end of our sentences.
it could be because more and more we suspect you aren't listening, don-cha-know?
so listen to me, will you?
n'est pas?
nome sain?
eh?
y'know?
understand?
non?
ya?
and that's all it is. get it?
Dec 7, 2013
surprise frog package *sniff*
froggy things arrived by post
two of the things i love the most
two funny books! for laughs or napping
all in wondrous froggy wrapping!
from Osprey, a fellow doggerel lover,
a lover of silliness and surprise
a person of remarkable energy and humour and passion,
the funnest and most creative time of my life is due to her.
it changed me for the better.
now she is on her way out the door,
into the next something or nothing,
a light will go out in our world.
she plans her exit for the solstice,
to steal off in the darkness while everything sleeps.
all of us who knew her will carry a little of osprey within us, and feel joy and loss when we think of her -- and i have her books!!
i had some Lear and Carroll and even Don Marquis, and all those funny books, but of Belloc i only knew to be kind and tender to frogs! osprey wanted to further my education in this respect, and as she will have no more use for these books, i am so happy to receive them.
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