the grammies

brenda is a grandmother! she asked for advice via email from far-flung friends.

last year when candy had a new grandchild she wrote this:

My newest grandchild is being born today!  His mother is laboring to deliver him, and it’s hard work I know, but he has no idea what is going on.  So when I have held each of my children and grandchildren for the first time after birth I have told them how brave they are, and courageous like super heroes, to be born. And how much fun they will have in this new world, and it has always amazed me that they seem to understand, even though they don’t know the words I’m saying, and they settle in my arms with a newborn smile, as if to say “You haven’t seen anything yet”. And they’re right- I haven’t

candy's message to brenda's new grandchild:
Welcome to Lydia, a brave and valiant girl who fought hard to be born and is a beautiful precious baby who is so lucky to have such a brave and valiant mother and grandmother. God bless you all!

and candy's advice for new grammie brenda:
What I have learned from grandmothering is that the greatest joy for the grandchildren is that they get to boss you around, sort of like the dog, and that you will still always love them for it- it's actually very entertaining for them, since they have so few people to boss around, and they know that you are a VIP by way of being their parent's parent, so that makes it all the more fun for them. Oh, and as far as stepping in to give your children advice- forget about it. Just concentrate on being Grammie (i.e., relating to your grandchild one on one) and let them do the parenting. If they ask for advice, then tell them what you would do, but if they don't ask, don't tell.