take my money please

autumn in vermont is highly praised, 

but by late november it has me in tears.

lack of light may not really be the cause 

of seasonal affective disorder.

it's not just me 

perceiving the world through november-colored glasses

it is me perceiving the front page of the new york times 

huge photo of people trampling each other to death on a bridge, 

and piles of mail asking for help 

for the sick and dying and going-extinct humans and animals, 

the starving, opressed, tortured and enslaved men and mostly women, 

the homeless, the tsunamied, the cheated and lied to, the addicted. 

i want to give them all my money 

everything i own

all of it take it all if it will help. 

but i don't. 

i talk myself out of it 

and send money to the local food shelf, 

the local homeless shelter, 

the local environment and avian-recovery center,

the local library and of course 

the volunteer firemen. 

generosity, yes, sort of, but also in hopes 

that they will be there 

when i find an injured bird, 

or am hungry, homeless, wifiless and bookless 

and on fire.