more advice for brenda this time from experienced grammie pat:
The wisest woman I ever had the joy of being "mentored:" by was my next door neighbor in NJ -- (guess i'd best not blog her name). She was about our age when we moved in, so retired from school teaching shortly thereafter. She had raised 8 children......2 adopted since her first husband had a pelvic cancer and 6 step kids since Paul's (her second husband) first wife had died of breast cancer. Over the 22 years we lived there she had many grandchildren. The great grandchildren came after we moved away, but we talked often until she died shortly after my husband did and her "rules" still seemed to work. I actually visited her in the hospital a few weeks before she died and when the nurse asked her if I was one of her children, she said not by blood, or paperwork, but by love. It was one of the loveliest compliments I've ever received.
In addition to living her life by the two greatest Biblical commandments, she had her own two: give no advice unless specifically asked for it; and in choosing what to really worry about, first decide if in the name of all eternity, will it really matter? I paid strict attention over all those cups of coffee at her kitchen table and have tried to live my life by those same 4. Doesn't mean it will always be smooth sailing or that the inside of your mouth won't have a huge sore from biting it.......but there is a lot to be said for peace. pat