a nanosecond is to a second as 1 second is to roughly 30 years

after raking the leaves together

i sprawl flat pulling them over me

the ground is cool under me

the leaves are warm over me

using awareness of quantum physics

i dissolve myself into the ground

my hair and skin crisp up into leaves

all colors red orange yellow purple magenta

i am the earth and the leaves

and the wind that blows them into the sky

only a damp spot remains

and soon it's gone

nothing is left of me
i get up and walk to the house
and make coffee

i live in a calendar

i have hundreds of pictures of autumn. but walking around the village today is so beautiful it hurts. 

can't eat it or fuck it or snort it or wear it, can't poem it or paint it...

i could lie down and die in it but instead i get out my camera once again!

(click to enlarge and walk right in!)

My heart is warm with friends I make,
   And better friends I'll not be knowing,
Yet there isn't a train I wouldn't take,
   No matter where it's going.  

                                        ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

kathe's mother wanted to go on a train ride. 

they didn't have to ask me twice!

the stationmaster had a nifty contraption (oh goody!)

to get her into the train car with her walker.

these trains go every day, and even so

people here wave to the train.

occasional kayakers on the river - they look up and wave!

later some canoeists - they wave too.

the practicing crew team ignores us.

man in motorboat with live dog as figurehead - man waves to train.

dog barks!

people wave from an island in the river

and from an estate across the river.

(were they really playing croquet?)

some cute kids on bikes waiting at the crossing.

they wave to us.

a large man in a tomato field waves

then turns back to his task

bending over broadly - we giggle.

a muscled young man with two ginormous horses

working a vast field of sunflowers -

he stops and smiles and waves.

i try to snap a photo of him the horses but 

we zoom on by and i get a large bush instead.

when they give you your ticket

they should include

a white hanky to wave out the open windows.

.

autumn is here - let the fright begin!

                                         exploring a great hallowe'en sim with 2 friends - it had everything! most frightening of all -- the clowns in the haunted nursery! be sure to go to Bentham Manor in Sevenfold!

i can haz fluffyness

i have an adorable new avatar which is a fluffy persian kitten.  

a manual came with it, so it may have some animations or tricks i don't know about.

here's what the manual says.


このたびは、NEKOの製品をお買い上げいただき、ありがとうございます。

猫アバターの使い方について、ご説明させていただきます。

品物の内容は、大まかに分けると、専用ボディシェイプ、専用スキン、ボディクラッシャー（１，５２・Ｌ）、
猫の体の部品、で構成されています。


すべての部品を、アバターに装着しますと、猫アバターになれます。


＜装着する方法＞

インベントリ（持ち物）の中から、製品のフォルダーをご自分のアバターに、
ドラッグ、ドロップしてください。

または、フォルダーを指定して、ダイアログの「服装を置換」、
を選択することで、一度にすべての部品を装着することが出来ます。

注）ＡＯ等を装着したままですと、ボディクラッシャーがきちんと機能せず、体型が崩れる場合があります。

注）サーバー、通信の状態により装着に時間がかかる場合があります。
その場合、アバターが何も装着しない時間が長くなる場合がありますので、更衣室等で
装着されることを、お勧めいたします。

注）お座りのポーズが入っていますが、椅子などに座った場合、椅子のポーズの優先度が高い場合は、
きちんとお座りできない場合があります。


わからないことがありましたら、[ neko Devin ]まで。

では、猫ライフをお楽しみください（＾＾

angels

"mommy, jesus told me not to use the downstairs bathroom. there's something bad in there" said 5 year old -- let's call her 'joy.'
they are visiting my house for xmas: joy, her mom, her mom's sister with her hubby my brother and their baby.
joy's mother reassured her that she herself sat in the downstairs bathroom each morning and read her bible, and it was a perfectly ok place.
but either to allay the child's concerns, or their own, i don't know which, it was decided to hold an exorcismic sort of gathering that evening.
when the time came, my hubby went off to bed grumpily and the rest of us sat down in a circle in the living room.
then reassuring prayers and praise were offered up to a loving god, and angels were set over the house to guard it. it seems to me the angels were very tall - 60 feet? or am i confusing it with a movie i saw.
all of this happened years ago, but many times i have thought of those angels i don't believe in and of how comforting it is to have them there, and how happy and trouble free we have been in this place.
the little girl, grown now into a woman, was killed last week in a car crash somewhere down south.
i am so sad.

who let you in my dream? was i in yours?

i dreamed

there were small rooms many boxes

piled everywhere lots of people

much activity

new michael

sang without stop

all bob dylan songs

he knew all the lyrics perfectly

i said to him

we share a gene

for remembering lyrics

he smiled enigmatically

a delivery man came in

tall wild haired it was duane carleton

brought many more boxes

he and new michael

hugged and thumped

in masculine affection

and it was then i realized

they belonged to the same cult

each member had to learn

some important body of knowlege

to save it from

the destruction to come

new micheal's job

was to learn all bob dylan songs

in my dream

i knew the name

of their organization

LOFTUS

now awake

i invoke google

it gives me a site that sells rubber chickens

which i have been needing

since our kitchen remodeling

when my old one got thrown out

i go to the woods

and stayed alone in susan clarke's wonderful cabin to meditate.

it was so amazing.

here are some pictures i took.

the music is used by permission of kourosh dini http://lifeinmusic.org/sky-lily/

best viewed full screen

on the doggy internet everyone is a dog

i'm digging a hole in the compost pile and our next-door dog is lying relaxed nearby on her property.  at first i feel bad for her because it is overcast damp and chill.
then i realize she has a coat meant for somewhere like the arctic! she probably feels we finally have some nice weather.
but she is tied out alone poor thing.
she barks. i look up. she has not moved, just a couple of deep loud laid back "woof"s. my ever-alert mind informs me that just previous, without my noticing, a dog up the valley barked just like that. Stella was merely commenting or replying, perhaps to a chain of dogs up and down the valley. she is not alone!
she is hanging out. not texting exactly, more woofing i suppose, with her friends. reminds me a bit of Rat Thing, one of my favorite creations of Snow Crash.
at the same moment it dawns on me that the bluejays are doing something similar, but with them, it is always crisis time!

where folks sit

walk up main street turn on tyson road

walk down back street past mill street

until it meets up with main street again.

i was going to snap chairs,

but got interested in porches too!

what are you going to do?

today is my last day at this job!
people are asking me "what are you going to do?"
i never realized what a complicated question that is.
do for the rest of my life?
for the next 5 years?
the next year? next week?
tomorrow?
stay tuned!

what no granola? no birkenstocks?

NO VERMONTERS IN HEAVEN
by E. F. Johnstone ~ 1950

I dreamed that I went to the city of gold,
To Heaven resplendent and fair;
And, after I entered that beautiful fold,
By one in authority there I was told 
That not a Vermonter was there!

"Impossible," said I. "A host from my town
Have sought this delectable place,
And each must be here with a harp and a crown,
A conqueror's palm and clean linen gown
Received through merited grace."

The angel replied, "All Vermonters come here
When first they depart from the earth,
But after a day or a month or a year
They restless and lonesome and homesick appear
And sigh for the land of their birth.

"They tell of its many and beautiful hills
Where forest majestic appear;
Its rivers and lakes and its streams and its hills
Where nature the purest of water distills,
And they soon get dissatisfied here."

"They tell of ravines, wild, secluded and deep,
Of clover-decked landscapes serene,
of towering mountains, imposing and steep
Adown which the torrents exulting leap
Through forests perennially green."

"We give them the best that the Kingdom provides,
They have everything here that they want;
But not a Vermonter in Heaven abides,
A very short time period here he resides,
Then hikes his way back to Vermont!"

.

Wootstock 2010

tinies are known for having tons of good clean fun in second life, so i admit it was a bit shocking to see so many of them stoned to the furry ears on rolled up waffle reefers, laying about on the ground muttering 'peace out man' or dancing hypnotically to the live music, which was FABULOUS. 

it was their annual two-day WOOTSTOCK freakout devoted to the motto 'make waffles not war' held on a farm somewhere in Raglan. we all had a great time dressing up and dancing and playing and half of us don't half remember it already!

 click pics to see BIG

a tale of suspense and mystery!

he was half way through his morning tea when the feeling of horror came over him.
last night unlike his usual sleepless nights, he fell asleep on the sofa after dinner and slept through until morning.
he felt rested!
yesterday his neighbor up the hill left for a week's vacation. she asked him to lock up the chickens in their coop each evening and let them out in the mornings.
but he'd fallen asleep.
the feeling of dread intensified as he headed up the morning hill, images of massacred chickens filled his mind.
he feared the worst and arrived at the pen
only to find...the worst.
some feathers.
no chickens.
none.
nada.
gone.
he looked through the fields and woods, called the neighbors, organized a disorganized search party.
eventually 3 chickens were found.
a 4th was found in a field, wounded, but refused to be captured.
attempts to lure it into a cage were getting underway when the farmer arrived to mow his field.
no! no! wait...we have to capture this injured chicken!
there were 8 chickens when she left for the week.
will there still be 4 when she returns?
something watches us and waits.
and they say we don't have much excitement around here!

why i not on F-book

suppose lex luthor or j edgar hoover tried setting up a form on the internet and requiring that everyone fill one out with name, picture, some personal information...would that have worked?

i'll bet you said NO WAY!

suppose someone or some corporation a bit more sly and results-oriented used the technology from Inception to infiltrate the dreams of some college student to influence him to create an internet site with information and pictures of everyone in his yearbook?

...in the expectation (evil genius' expectation, not college student's) that this would be irresistable and soon everyone in the world for the most part would want to be on it?

don't worry about me being disappeared, very few people read my blog, and anyway it's a bit like telling people you were abducted by aliens or saw big-foot.

yeah, right.

well you looked like you were asleep, you were even snoring!

seeking oblivion i arrive at sleep's door
knock knock knock knock!
the door does not open.
i knock louder, pounding.
"are you prepared to sleep?" asks a poster.
teeth brushed, face washed.
wearing soft clothing.
what more?

my body then.
beginning with toes i command relaxing.
feet
ankles
calves
knees
i continue on and on
finally unclenching
neck
jaw
scalp
now all is calm and soft.

gently i knock again.
the door moves a crack.
one eye to the opening i gaze in with envy.
cats dozing in fields of poppies,
bats swaying peacefully above
and in distant water dolphins
hang motionless just beneath the surface.

but no!
before i can melt into mist
and flow through the opening -
hands take hold of me!
my job! my bank account! what i said to my friend!
no no no....pulling me back from sleep's door!
let me go!
let me dissolve and think no more today.
i grab the handle holding on for all i am worth!

suddenly!
the hands let me go
and i rebound,
flung through the door into sleep
not even knowing i am there
until the sun wakes me to another day.

jobs i have had - what next?

(other than summer jobs)
occupational therapist in Boston
recreation director in New Hampshire
head start in New Hampshire
medical record transcription in Florida
department store clerk in Vermont
head start in Vermont
upward bound in Vermont
piano teacher Vermont
head librarian Vermont
office manager Vermont

.

contemplating ramadan

fasting all day - could i ?

eat nothing -

from breakfast to lunch?

maybe.

drink nothing -

from breakfast to lunch?

doubtful.

(here i take a sip of coffee)

eat nothing -

from lunch to dinner?

gasp! (reaching for a cookie)

drink nothing -

from lunch to dinner?

impossible!

and besides -

these northern August days are long!

in Alaska do they get to eat at all?

holed those reigns! spellchecker is here!

(i dint write this, someone passed it along to me - maybe you've seen it before)
 
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea,
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight for it two say,
Weather eye and wring oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long,
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.
Eye have run this poem threw it
Your sure reel glad two no,
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
-Sauce unknown

Dilgo Khyentse 100 years - the return!

washing the saki and wine from my hair - i wonder if it attracts yellow-jackets? - i'm thinking of how much fun i have as a buddhist.

as a young lutheran i was allowed to take communion after 2 years of memorizing luther's small catechism.

i never imagined there was a religion that could transmit sacred empowerments to me by tossing flower petals in the air and reading to me (and 300 others) in tibetan for hours and hours, followed by a joyful celebration.

unlike 'holy communion' these revered holy men and women came right into the crowd, all of them in a line, each bestowing a different blessing/transmission, the touch of a transmission object to the head, or cinnamon candy in the hand, powder to make a mark on the forehead, and both wine and saki, just a bit poured into my outstretched hand, and then slurped and my hand rubbed across the top of my hair.

i wonder what the folks who have that "common cup" vs "individual cup" argument (you know who you are) would say to the "just use your hand" idea?

(click to enlarge photos)

here's a link for the curious
more information