Good morning! From the Fairbanks Museum in St. Johnsbury this is your feet on the ground gravity report for February 2, 2010.
A widespread area of low gravity will be moving into our area from the south today, heading into Canada. This will bring with it an increase in silliness so be sure to wear your sense of humor. Heavy shoes recommended for everyone, especially the kiddies ... stay away from those backless clogs today. You ladies might want to save that skirt until next week and wear slacks when you head out to work or some shopping.
Groundhogs and other hibernating animals have been known to pop spontaneously from their dens during these gravity lows; skiiers and showshoers be on the lookout! In fact, in 1958, on February 17 during record low gravity, a black bear popped from his den right under Corny Merton, skiiing the back trail at Killington! Merton -- as it happened, a prize-winning bull rider at the Rutland State Fair -- managed to hold on and ride the confused animal to the parking lot of the lodge, where it feasted from the garbage bins before ambling back up the slope!!
The low gravity should be moving out of our area overnight, so enjoy it while it lasts. Dieters, don't forget to weigh yourself today!