haiku from mars and venus

i told Al i had condensed his poem into a haiku as follows:

our tracks up the hill -
my long sweet life with deb
even as new snow falls
 
he responded that it might be more like this:
 
Rabbit ripped from life
Fox dripping blood
My love is not like that

this reminds me of trying to create a skit with HBA, best described in this:

http://xkcd.com/611/