someone i know, who graduated from college quite awhile ago, came across some memorabilia from her college days, and thoughtfully sent a list to the university archives offering the items. here's the reply she received (names omitted):
Ms. F
Thanks for your kind offer, but I believe that we already have most if not all of the items you mention.
xxx xxxxxx
Associate University Archivist for Research Services
xxx@xxx.edu
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not even dear ms f, or kind regards or anything! some of her friends felt this was astonishingly rude, and one of them composed what she felt would have been the correct response, which made me laugh so hard! here it is:
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Dear Ms. F,
Thank you so much for your kind offer to donate memorabilia from your years at xxx. We enjoyed having you here and are pleased that you have preserved some of the artifacts of your time here, an important time in the history of xxx University. We would love to house your items here and showcase them as part of our history, but unfortunately we have no space to preserve them or showcase them as we would like. As xxx archivist, I have put together a plan to build a museum on campus to house such memorabilia and the administration and Board of Trustees have agreed, provided that I can secure funding. If you could send your memorabilia together with a check for, say, $100,000 to kickstart the project, the University would be happy to consider naming rights for the museum, provided that you also solicit additional funding, say $600,000, from your fellow classmates. I appreciate your initiation of this project that is near and dear to my heart and yours and I look forward to working with you towards our shared goal.
Sincerely,
xxx xxxxx
Associate University Archivist for Research Services
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