gifts are personal, and/or gifts are ritual.
there used to be rules for when to give, what to give, how much to spend, based on the kind and degree of relationship.
i think that's gone, for most of us modern folks.
now gifts are personal. what does this say about me, what does this say about you.
the two get mixed up.
i know how to make soap.
so i make you some special soap to give you on a ritual occasion.
i am giving you my time and my talent.
you take it as a personal gift, not a ritual gift.
you think maybe i think you don't wash enough.
you think i didn't care enough to buy you something.
i think you will think i am cool because i can make soap.